Hands up, how many of you big girls have been asked when you’re due?? I know my hand is WAY up in the air.
In fact, after one of my previous bosses asked me when I was due, my self-image and esteem was gone. The shirt I had been wearing had an empire waist so of course it was flowy at the bottom and made me look a bit bigger, but none of that mattered to me. I got the image of myself being HUGE stuck in my head and actually started buying maternity clothes just because I felt like that was the biggest outfit I could buy to cover my belly. The bigger and baggier the clothes, the better. Sad part was, I had only gained about 20 pounds at the time so I was only sitting around 150. I thought I was HUGE.
I went from wearing medium to 2X just because I felt like it hid my body. It enhanced my comfort zone so to speak. I could escape in the clothes and hoped that it would stop the comments.
I got extremely bitter at one point. One day I had been asked by at least 7 people when I was due or that they did not know that I was expecting. I was sick and tired of it. I had a lady at the mall actually come up to me and rub my belly telling me that she wished she could have looked like me when she was pregnant. Fit from head to toe with just a baby bump up front. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. At this point I was beyond pissed off. I actually made a rude comment back to one lady when she insisted that I was gonna have twins. I came back with,”No, actually… I just lost the baby a few weeks ago, but thank you for bringing it back up.” Mean, and off I know, trust me. I still regret saying it, but it got her to shut up and leave me the Hell alone.
Anymore when I get that question asked, I just embarrass the Hell out of people and announce, “I’m not pregnant, just really fat. But thank you for noticing.” Polite and rude all at the same time. Yes, ladies and gentlemen as you may have noticed, I can and will be a major smartass.
Lately I have torn myself away from the clothes that are 4 times too big and worn clothes just a size larger. I feel less sloppy, but still a little self conscious. Unfortunately, there are not a lot of places that cater to my size and those that do don’t have anything that really does not look like maternity clothes.
It has been a few weeks now since the last time I was asked that horrible question. Here’s to hoping that is a question I will never hear again!!! Grrrrr…… LOL
Moral of the story, please know for sure that a woman is expecting before you go rubbing her belly, asking when she is due, who the father is or tell her that she is carrying twins. It can really kill a girls self-esteem.
where can i get that shirt
found you through lady blogger
I can’t tell you how much I agree with you on this! I have only been asked this a couple of times, but both times it was annoying, embarrassing, and hurtful. I would never dream of asking someone when they were “due,” unless I knew for dam* sure they were pregnant. But the second time it happened my reply was basically the same as yours: “I’m not pregnant, just fat, thanks.” Sheesh. I’m not asking for sympathy for my weight issues or anything. More power to the skinny girls of the world. But they need to learn some simple courtesy and think before they speak. Can you imagine if they asked this to a woman who just delivered a stillborn child and was still carrying some excess weight??!! Think, people, just think.
Just visiting from Lady Bloggers, Brandi.
I so know what you mean… A couple of years ago I put on a lot of weight really quickly (I moved from a place where I was running every day to the UK, land of pubs, stodgy food and long commutes~) and several times in the space of one month was offered a seat on the underground by some very sweet fellow travellers, one who was determined to have the pregnant lady sit down. So embarrassing when people just assume you’re pregnant “nope, just bloated but I’ll take the seat anyway.”
Found you on Lady Bloggers and so glad I did..I’m your newest follower and cheerleader on your goal to get in shape. I have been asked when my baby was due too and even worse had the girls at the bank ask my now ex husband the same thing so he had to tell them..oh no she’s just fat. Nice! 😦
I hope that this is my year to feeling like a skinny bitch again!